Jake Zyrus formerly known as Charice Pempengco opened up on dealing with mental health problems and suicidal thoughts.
In actress and TV host Toni Gonzaga’s latest YouTube vlog, she featured Jake for an interview. During the interview, Jake revealed that he was started being confused on his sexuality when he was still 5 years old. According to Jake, it is an everyday battle when he is growing up.
“And I remember siyempre nuong na discover na, Charice you know like the, Global Superstar Charice being on stage with David Foster and friends, Oprah and Ellen. That was one of my, yung pain talaga kasi I did not want to sound ungrateful… from the beginning nuong na discover, even before that, way before ‘Little Big Star’, it was there. It was always there.” Jake shared.
“So the struggle ganyan like you are hiding yourself. Like towards before I transition, before I came out, kumbaga at the very end, I was like ‘no, no, no’. But at the same time it came to the worst of the worst. You know like my mental health, suicidal and all those things.” Jake added.
According to Jake, he tried to kill himself three times when he was still Charice.
“I think I was 18 or 19 at that time. Because nasa isip ko, pag nag come out ako, it’s over… That’s the thing, yung nasa isip ko at that time was other people. The fear of acceptance, I don’t want to disappoint them, I didn’t want to disappoint David, I didn’t want to disappoint Oprah, my mother… the pressure of you fitting in as well…” Jake shared.
Jake also shared that when he came out to the public as a lesbian, it wasn’t enough for him as he still felt that he is still betraying himself.
“Parang I thought na pag nag come out ako as a lesbian… it was very complicated because at that time I just wanted to come out so bad. But when I came out as a lesbian, it wasn’t enough… Cause now everyone is trying to educate me na parang, ‘oh lesbian so that means she. That means ganito ganyan, and it matter to me obviously…” Jake shared.
According to Jake, he felt that he is not only betraying himself but also he was betraying other people when he came out as a lesbian as he was still hiding ‘the truth’. Jake also shared that it came to a point where his supposed last concert as ‘Charice’ got cancelled.
“Hindi siya natuloy kasi at that time parang siyempre, emotionally and I was dealing with my mental health as well, and I’m still dealing with it right now. I have anxiety, depression and all that. And at that time sobrang worst siya…” Jake shared.
“So nuong time na yun, I knew I had to do that last concert but at the same time, it’s like I wasn’t ready and I was done, I was done (being Charice)… So when I decided to transition, it was very easy…” Jake added.
(Photo source: Instagram – @jakezyrusmusic)
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