Actress Maxene Magalona shared with her fans and followers the challenges she went through after being in quarantine. Maxene admitted that she got frustrated for the feeling of ‘losing control.’
With the lockdown in place, Maxene understood that in order to live in our truth, we must accept the entire spectrum of life.
Here is the full post of Maxene:
“I took this photo exactly a week after I had just arrived back home in Manila. It was my first time to experience being in quarantine as I was used to going out in Bali everyday. I tried to go about my days as normally as I could and just continued with my daily routine. I even made a schedule of things to do that would keep me busy and productive. Being the “strong independent woman” that I am, I was determined to keep the situation under control.
On this day, however, I started getting a migraine and my body began to physically collapse. When this happens, I usually get frustrated because I don’t like the feeling of “losing control.” I started getting emotional and instead of holding back my tears, I just allowed them to come. Gradually, the emotions that I had been keeping bottled up inside of me for God knows how long started to surface.
When I was younger, I used to spend my time running away and denying what I was feeling. I turned to partying and alcohol to numb myself from feelings of anxiety, fear and pain. Now, being in lockdown leaves me no choice but to face and sit with the discomfort. Although this can be quite terrifying and painful, I actually welcome it so that I can hold space for my emotions and allow them to flow through me. I’ve built a wall around my heart for so long, trying to be tough and protect myself from becoming vulnerable only to find out that it takes true strength and courage to feel all my feelings.
I took this photo to supposedly send to my sweet friend @_annafries who was asking me how I was doing as she knew that I was going through a lot during this time. I ended up not sending it to her because I thought it was inappropriate to send a sad photo. Now, even though we don’t normally post these kinds of things online, I choose to be honest and honor my sadness and grief as I understand that in order to live in our truth, we must accept the entire spectrum of life. We must allow ourselves to feel all our emotions and not just the “good” ones because we wouldn’t even know what “good” feels like if not for what makes us feel “bad.”
(Photo source: Instagram – @maxenemagalona)
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